He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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