so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My life is pants optional.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
