After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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