awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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