I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
