I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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