"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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