he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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