He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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