i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
