Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She's JV to your varsity
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
