Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At least make sure they are 18
Why
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My feet surprised me
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
