lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
