oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
