yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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