all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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