I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Also, beer. Big fan.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
