every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
