Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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