Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
