I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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