So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
