..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
