I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
