So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
