Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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