It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
