It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
