I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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