I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
