why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
