She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
