Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
