Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
soo... how was my night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
