my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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