I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
