even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
