Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
