How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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