Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
