her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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