so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
