I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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