this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
