she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
the raccoons are back...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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