areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
