sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
