That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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