why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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