I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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