their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
