oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
