It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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