Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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