My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
