dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
