It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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